Listen
by balakafalata
Summary: One-shot Song-fic. Listen: from dreamgirls by Beyonce. harry doesn't think he can follow Dumbledores plans anymore


"Listen"

**I DO NOT own Harry Potter or the song Listen by Beyonce**

**"Listen"**

He won't look at me, Because he thinks that voldemort can see through my eyes. Snape taught me occlumency because Dumbledore refused. I gave up on it. Now Sirius is dead

_Listen,  
To the song here in my heart  
A melody I've start  
But can't complete_

I became reliant on Dumbledore's advice and presence so much that when he couldn't look at me, I couldn't concentrate on anything exept that. What has he done to me

_Listen, to the sound from deep within  
It's only beginning  
To find release_

My eyes are open now. This is a war, not between the light and the dark, but between Albus Dumbledore and Tom Riddle. We are all soldiers no matter how much we pretend differently.

_Oh,  
the time has come  
for my dreams to be heard  
They will not be pushed aside and turned  
Into your own  
all cause you won't  
Listen...  
_

I don't think that I can fight in Dumbledore's stead. Am I strong enough? I have my own life. I don't want to die for him

_  
Listen,  
I am alone at a crossroads  
_

This is my life and I have to decide whether or not I live it.

_I'm not at home, in my own home  
And I tried and tried  
To say what's on my mind  
You should have known  
Oh,  
_

He knows everything about my life. He knows about my cupboard and how the Dursleys treated me. I told Ron and Hermione and Mrs. Weasley, I know Mrs. Weasley at least told Dumbledore.

_Now I'm done believing you  
You don't know what I'm feeling  
_

Dumbledore says that he understands, but he can't. He knows that it is my fault that Sirius is dead, but he can never understand. He is lying to make me feel better. He's a good liar.

_I'm more than what, you made of me  
I followed the voice  
you gave to me  
But now I gotta find, my own..  
_

All my life he has controlled me. It was his decision to bring me to the Dursleys, he has controlled my every movement since I was born. Didn't he know about the prophesy before I was born? Is it possible that the great leader of the light let my parents die so that I could become the savior. What else has he manipulated? Who does he think he is?

_  
You should have listened  
There is someone here inside  
Someone I'd thought had died  
So long ago  
_

At the Dursleys I was miserable, but at least before I met Dumbledore I was independent. I knew how to cook and clean when other children my age couldn't even keep their toys neat. I never had any toys. I am a survivor, not just because I am the boy-who-lived.

_  
Oh I'm screaming out, for my dreams to be heard  
They will not be pushed aside or worked  
Into your own  
All cause you won't  
Listen..._

I don't know how long we've been yelling at each other, well I'm yelling. There is a prophesy. I don't have a choice but to either die or become a murderer. It's one thing that I killed Sirius by accident, but I don't think that I can purposely kill someone, even someone as twisted as Voldemort.

_Listen,  
I am alone at a crossroads  
_

From here on I must dedicate myself, either I train to become a killer or I back out, and condemn hundreds to death. Is it better to directly murder one or to indirectly murder hundreds, even thousands?

_I'm not at home, in my own home  
_

If the protection at the Dursley house works as long as I call it home, has it ever worked? I've never considered that place home. When I was little I considered running away, but I had believed everything that the Dursleys had told me about how much of a worthless freak I was. Even then I guess I relied on them. Working was normal, my uncle face turning purple whenever he got angry was normal. At Hogwarts everything was new and strange. The Dursleys hated everything that was strange. I liked Hogwarts, Hogwarts was my home. Was.

_And I tried and tried  
To say what's on my mind  
You should have known  
Oh,  
Now I'm done believing you  
You don't know what I'm feeling  
I'm more than what, you made of me  
I followed the voice  
you gave to me  
But now I gotta find, my own.._

I did everything that Dumbledore told me to. I saved the world, I will stop voldemort, what about after? Once I fulfill the prophesy, what will be my purpose for living? Become and auror, marry Ginny, have little Potter kids? When I'm no longer needed, will they still say I'm their savior when the first time they said that, he came back years later, because of me.

_I don't know where I belong  
But I'll be moving on  
_

I didn't leave the Dursleys because I though that there was nowhere else to go, but now it doesn't matter. To live anywhere else is better than to be a living tool here.

_If you don't...  
If you won't..._

LISTEN!!...  
To the song here in my heart  
A melody I've start  
But I will complete  


I may do what Dumbledore says, but I wont become a mindless follower. I am a human being and I have a free will. I'm going to live my own life, not the one that Dumbledore planned for me.

_  
Oh,  
Now I'm done believing you  
_

I trusted him blindly because he took me away from the Dursleys, if only for a few months. I was Naïve, I'm not anymore. I know what will happen to me if I follow him with my eyes closed and outlive my usefulness. Then I will be with my mother and father and now Sirius.

_You don't know what I'm feeling  
I'm more than what, you made of me  
I followed the voice, you think you gave to me  
But now I gotta find, my own..  
my own..._

He still thinks that he controls me, how shocked he will be when he realizes that I developed a mind of my own while he was too scared to look into my eyes.

A/N: there you go. Please review


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